My Dad's caught whatever cold/flu it is that's been going around lately. His cough has gotten crazy bad (if ya don't remember he's got the lung cancer). He gets maybe 30 seconds of peace, then it sets off... another five minutes of coughing until he's nearly choking. I don't think it's going to be too much longer (till he has to go into the hospital, then dies). I'm going to pray of course he gets better... it's times like these that make you remember you believe in God, or at least want to. I think it's going to take a miracle at this point for him to come back up out of it all and be OK again. God, Jesus, whoever might be 'up there'... if you're reading this, please do what you can for him. If it is his time, let it be as peaceful as you can, please?
So with all of this he's in an undestandably ****ty mood. Every little thing today seems to have sparked him off. I can't tell you how many little meaningless things he's torn into me over before it sets off another coughing fit. I get it... he's having to deal with me on top of everything else. He hasn't directly said anything about it, but he must see me as one of his crowning failures as a father. 34 years old, drug addict, no job, no life of my own (to normal peoples standards). I don't want to be down on myself... but it's the truth. I don't blame him (well maybe a bit, but I have no real reason to besides not wanting to accept my own part in it). Where I'm at today is the result of so many things, I can't single out any one of them as the 'cause'. It just is what it is.
...and other majorly ****ty stuff's happned over the last couple of days too. I'm sick of writting though.
I think this is one of those times, you can make something like a choice. I think you know what you basically need to do, get a job, kick the habit, the life part I can't help you with. I don't have a habit and I got a job, but it's like my job is my life or at least I don't have much other then that.
This thing we do that let us survive, it's the easiest and hardest **** we do..
Bionicgoat wrote:34 years old, drug addict, no job, no life of my own (to normal peoples standards). I don't want to be down on myself... but it's the truth.
Those are not the only standards by which one can judge someone's parenting, though. And I would say in other respects he did quite well.
Hope he gets better. I've known quite a few "tough old birds" who put up a good fight.
thankfully he has gotten better, must have just been a passing thing. The way he was coughing was really scary. He's back to normal now though pretty much.
I am really very sorry to hear about that - it must be really distressing for you...I don't know how I would cope in such a situation.
